Musings of a Troubled Soul

There are days in my life when I am most conscious of failure. Fear of failure does not stop me from trying to accomplish what I want to do or what seems right, but failing troubles my soul.

We have scheduled a series of fund-raisers for special projects for Made in the Streets, and we want to bring some young people who have lived on the streets to share their message with our friends. We have received the news that the US Embassy has denied Caroline Wanjiru a visa to come to the US for April. We also want to bring Anthony Owino over, and we think that if they denied Caroline, they will likely deny Anthony as well. The official told her that she did not have adequate documentation that showed she would return to Kenya. I'm sure that the Embassy official was doing the best he or she could to serve American interests. They do need to be fully convinced that the applicant will return to Kenya.

My thought is that I have failed the ministry and the young people. From a distance I can't know what occurred and why the embassy official denied the visa. I do know that life is difficult for young people who grow up in desperate poverty, and especially those who suffer from life on the streets. They have a poverty mindset, which does not comprehend how the more affluent think and how they make decisions. And it is hard for them to raise their eyes to people in authority who will make a decision that affects them. Whatever happened, it's clear that Caroline could not convince the official that she is legitimate. That means we have not prepared our young people well enough and given them the tools and outlook that enables them to deal with people with a different mindset.

Now I have to decide how to deal with failure. It is our task to search for new ways to train young people, to make them capable of dealing with people who MANAGE relationships and decisions. The mindset of the poor is to fight over relationships and to submit to decisions by authority.

This troubled soul must also remember that he serves the will of God, and he does not even comprehend what He may be planning to accomplish in all relationships and needs.

And anyway, what is to be done about failure but to search out ways to do better next time? There are better ways to train young people, and by grace we will find them.