The Old and the Young

It's Monday, and that means we fly to Nairobi today. We are trying to take care of ourselves, so we woke up early and walked the two miles to the coffee shop. The son-by-marriage got the granddaughters ready and brought them by the coffee shop before taking them to pre-school. And the daughter stopped by briefly to say hello on the way to work.

It seems the old and the young grow alike. The twins are five now, and they are feeling more the fact of our departures. They came in and sat down close to me, and neither really wanted to eat (even though it was a cinnamon crunch bagle!). They just wanted to get close and tell me how they would miss me and even cry a little.

And me...? I started feeling like crying a week ago. One day I felt strange, and I later realized that I was depressed. Since I never feel depression, I didn't know what it is. It makes me empathize with people who suffer from depression, whether clinical or occasional. It's like you are falling in a hole, and you feel disconnected from the world around you. And everything seems worse than it could possibly be. And you feel lonely even though you don't need to. It takes conscious effort to get free from depression, making a decision to be close to others and to do something useful. Otherwise you get stuck in it.

Today I feel okay. I could talk to the girls about how feeling sad is great, because it means we really do love one another. And about how if we don't go away, then we can't come back (that worked for our daughter when her granpa used it, but somehow I don't think the twins buy it.)

There is an excitement building in us about being back in Nairobi. There is plenty of work, and we get to see the street kids again, and those who have come off the streets and are at the Farm, and the Team, and the Conways and others. Our list of loved ones is almost unending.

Have an un-depressed day!

charles